Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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