Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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