ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
