He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
