i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
