yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
