I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize