So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
