Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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