Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
