is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
