i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
