Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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