Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
