I want to walk on stilts...naked
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
