Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize