Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
