You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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