We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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