My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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