Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize