I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
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