don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Its about making memories worth repressing
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
