Dual....:-)
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Randomize
