He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize