This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
