better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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