When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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