I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize