we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
