They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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