creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
