Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
