I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I can't put those talents on a resume
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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