one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
