oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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