my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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