yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
