i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
i think my cat just said my name.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
