I wish I could teleport
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
