Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize