Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
