You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
