Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
