For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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