I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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