Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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