You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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