My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
