I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
