I can text with my tongue
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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