grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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