Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
