I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
She told me I should be a condom model.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
