hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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