dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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