I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
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