I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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