just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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