I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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