There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Let's get the cat blown out
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