SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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