either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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