she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
