Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
