i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
