Do you still have your period?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
