I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
