The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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