Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
