I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
