How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
