He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
