I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
