went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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