the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
